Today I feel like.....

A Frumpablobbic Bozo

Pig Pen

in the Kali /Destroyer Aspect

So, sometimes everything seems like it is on the edge of unraveling. Right now it feels like that special brand chaos has returned. I gotta a touch of it in my mind, my body, and my life. And in my kitchen sink. As a kid I sometimes felt like pig pen, like there were times there was a dark cloud around me that was like a tornado of destruction. Like I had the opposite of the midas touch, I had the pig pen touch, and everything I went near would crumble. In my college years, I came to relate the feeling with the goddess Kali. There were times I would walk down the street and the street lights would literally break and go out as I walked under them. It made me wonder if there is really an electrical component to my bad ju ju days. It made me afraid to even be near the plants at times, like they were gonna just keel over at the vibe of me. And now in my mom years, I have often felt like the little girl in the bozo suit. Honk.

Today, I gotta a touch of each one in me.

So if everything feels like it is unraveling, well, isn't my own fault for mentioning the goddess Kali in my easter post??? She loves to show up when she thinks she is invited.

Our only car is (still) broken and gonna cost $4000 to fix, my dad is sick, and my kitchen sink is full of dirty dishes and globbed up with spaghetti goo and eggs because our last two meals were ones of last resort (you know you need to shop when you are down to just noodles and eggs!), and I am in the postpartum shift from 'wow, I lost so much weight so fast birthing that baby!' to 'when is the rest of it coming off? soon, please?'. It is downright frumpablobbic-pig pen-Kali-licious over here today.

So I am comforting myself with a song.

I spent an hour or more trying to figure out how to embed the song to share. But trying to figure out new technology only made me feel less organized, and more incompetent. So if I could, I would play you this song- petit poulet, or little chicken. I feel a little chicken today- the sky is falling, you know!! I will put the lyrics here instead- a little Sinead O'Connor to remind me the moon is still in the sky, and ground is still underfoot, and still holds me. And I do not need to hold up the moon myself. So go find the song online yourself, and hit play, if you wanna hear it. It is a good one.

'There isn't any answer to the question, you only learn learn to live with it. But the voices are heard of all who cry. '

Waaa!

Petit Poulet
by Sinead O'Connor on Gospel Oak EP

Petit poulet
Tout c'est okay
Maintenant bebe tout c'est okay
The life you left behind won't find you
The love you kept inside will come
And even when your own heart blinds you
Nothing undoes the work you've done
The sun's still in the sky
The moon is there at night
The ground is still underfoot
And still holds you
Petit poulet
Tout c'est okay
Maintenant bébé Tout c'est okay
There isn't any answer to the question
You only learn to live with it
There isn't any answer in religion
Don't believe one who says there is
But... The voices are heard
Off all who cry
I am around you as love in the night
Kissing your plight
Baby child
Kissing your plight
Kissing your plight
I am the sun up in the sky
I am the moon also at night
I am the ground under your foot
I am holding you Petit poulet
Tout c'est okay
Maintenant bébé
Tout c'est okay