I am only posting now because I did not in all of January, and before another month goes by I thought I would write SOMETHING.
We actually started January out pretty good, having people over, doing play dates. We had some exciting couch surfer guests I could write about. I have been working on getting a midwife license in Denmark, and figuring out some working options for the future. I am also working on rattling the medical hierarchy in our region to get them to change some rules and pay for our home birth midwife.
But then came mid-January... it was about the same week in pregnancy I when wrote that post last time. I started powering down.
No energy, heartburn that makes every position uncomfortable and disturbs the sleep I manage around the big belly.
Then we got sick.
The kids got it first, the parents next, so last week we sent the kids to dagis , and my husband stayed home. We both slept all day in a quiet house. Thank you Sweden for daycare we love, and paid sick days.
Now, hibernation has set in.
My big goal this weekend was eat three normal meals of healthy food, and get up at a reasonable time. And hopefully get the floors cleaned. And get out of the house once for a walk. Except for sleeping most of Saturday, I met my goals!
Soon we are going to be in birthday madness. We will be celebrating my big girl turning 6 and my second one turning 2. And of course patiently waiting and having the house ready for baby number three to come any time now over the next five weeks.
But right now, I am a mama bear cozy in her den, sleeping and resting before the new cub and the the sunshine show up and disturb the peace.
The birth preparation is easy this time. We had a home birth in this house just two years ago, so we really only needed to get the supplies out again. I need to wash up the baby clothes. But the angst that came with my last birth is absent. I was planning a VBAC or a normal birth after a c-section, and it came with all kinds of heavy emotional questions that are non-issues this time. Last time I had almost religious fervor in preparing, as I had something to overcome in that birth. That intensity is replaced by a quiet confidence that comes with 6 years of parenting, two babies that have grown into kids that seem to be turning out fine, one nice home birth, and a feeling we are open to what comes, and ready for the surprises and growth a new life brings.
So back to bed I go.
I know from last time, summer will bring plenty of outward energy and exploring. Having been here before makes this urge to retreat almost seem normal....